


Burning Up

by childofhebe



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Cigarettes, Dancing, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Roller Coaster, Established Relationship, Family Issues, GO Before The Fall AU, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, Students, Warnings May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:34:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23449369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/childofhebe/pseuds/childofhebe
Summary: Sometimes, life takes bad turns. Sometimes, you end up in the dark, alone, without having any idea how or why.But that is alright. The burn of alcohol in your throat is different from the freeing heat of your sins burning and you burying them in the past, choosing to emerge from the embers new and stronger than ever. Life really is that way sometimes, and we all choose our paths.Anthony J. Crowley, a student with much to live for, and with a list of too many dark places he's been to, is yet to learn this lesson.EDIT: CURRENTLY ON HOLD, BECAUSE I NEED TO GET MY GOOD OMENS SPARK BACK
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley/Satan | Lucifer (Good Omens)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 17





	1. DNA

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here it is, my little dark depressed baby.  
> Disclaimer: I am not projecting any mental issues of my own onto the characters. Not al all. :)  
> Lucifer (as the version used in this fic) belongs to the wonderful and amazing Nixarim and her Before The Fall AU. If you haven't already, make sure to check it out! <3
> 
> Now, onto the fic! :3

The stairs leading down to the club were narrow and lightened only with colorful neon lights as if they were descending to the bomb bunker for queers. It wasn’t probably a very misplaced metaphor anyway. The music and light poured from below, as well as the tight air filled with the characteristic smell of a dance club. 

Anthony liked it, but of course, he noticed his hand in Ezra’s being crushed a little too much. He has been surprised when his bookworm shy boyfriend told him he wants to go to a particular dance club tonight (Crowley’s never been there before, he’s only heard rumors about it), but Ezra’s love of fine wine and sweet cocktails was sometimes stronger than his common sense. Which sensible person would wear a cardigan sweater to the dance club, that was the whole other matter.

“Hey, you know what? I don’t think that Margharita is worth it. Michael was probably overexaggerating. Or she just played me for a sucker, like usual. Let’s just go home.”

“Nonsense, angel. This place looks great!”

“Yeah, greatly...loud...and crowded,” Ezra looked down at his feet and tugged his boyfriend’s hand more urgently. Anthony hesitated, turned, and faced the blonde.

“Okay, listen. I know I should take you home right at this instant, but you yourself told me you need to fight your crowd anxiety. How about we go in, actually see what’s in there, find a corner table, order one drink for the taste, and after that, if you still feel uneasy, we go home. Okay?”

Ezra couldn’t see Anthony’s honey eyes with the combination of the drastic neon lights, shadows, and his dark glasses, but the unease in his heart melted anyway at the sincerity in his smile. It was always too simple for Anthony to do that.

“Okay,” he nodded and giggled at the nose peck he received a moment after.

Ezra was right, the place was loud and crowded, but they managed to find the promised unoccupied corner table. The lively dance music streamed from the speakers, vibrated around the walls, and apparently filled the people on the dance floor with endless energy. It wasn’t anything Ezra knew, he only listened to the bebops when Anthony presented it. However, Anthony seemed to know the song, based on the light sway of his hips. 

“I think we need to order at the bar,” Anthony yelled in his ear and Ezra winced, breaking into giggles right after. He was sure his cheeks were already a little flushed, due to the heat in the room. “I’ll go get them then.”

Anthony rose, leaving Ezra to inspect the room. The rainbow dancing lights were already making his head hurt a little bit, but he already got used to the corner sofa vibrating slightly from the music. There wasn’t anyone around him, only the abandoned glasses (some even half full,  _ dangerous _ ), jackets and bags. All of that wasn’t very responsible, but tonight, Ezra was sitting right there too, so he probably could let go a little bit. The table section was neatly separated from the dance floor, which was the most crowded place except the front of the bar where Anthony was headed. Ezra tried to follow the auburn braid in the crowd, but he lost him quickly. Anthony had sharp elbows, and he wasn’t afraid to use them. 

The piercing cheer from the dance floor made him look that way. He noticed the little podium in the middle, just a raised circle big enough for one person. When they entered the club, there wasn’t anyone dancing, but now the person up there caused the crowd to cheer. Ezra couldn’t really tell the difference between good and bad dancing, the ballroom dancing being the only thing he ever practiced by the insistence of his aunt. But the person moved ethereally smoothly as if they haven’t ever heard of bones. 

“Here,” Anthony came back smiling, setting down the beautifully decorated glasses of Margarita and Long Island Iced Tea. 

“Thank you, dear,” Ezra mumbled, inspecting the glass with the grace of a professional. Anthony took off his glasses and stuck the straw in his mouth in one smooth motion. “You already love that drink more than me,” he complained.

\---

An hour and a half and two drinks later, Anthony suddenly rose, startling Ezra from his squinting at the menu in the poor light.

“I… Want to dance,” Anthony blurted out.

“Okay, sure. I’ll be here,” Ezra smiled at him.

“No. I want to dance with you,” Anthony pointed at the blonde.

“You know I don’t enjoy that, dear.”

“You’re no fun,” Anthony pouted.

“Fun? I don’t see how constant tripping and falling, what’s the definition of dancing done by me, is fun. But you go, I could see you wanted to dance for a while now,” Ezra held onto his smile. Anthony mumbled something while still pouting, and then moved onto the dance floor.

Of course, he had a plan. He needed to lure Ezra there, and it was going well so far. They didn’t leave, they drank some (really delicious) drinks, and now the dancing. Crowley had a theory, where dancing like this could really help Ezra to come out of his shell a little bit often. Crowley loved his boyfriend with every bit of himself, and he definitely didn’t want to change anything about him - but he was tired of people underestimating and belittling Ezra just because he was shy, while inside, the blonde was smarter than all of them.

Crowley let his body be swayed by the music, at first gently, not really minding anyone around. The song he knew the choreography of came on soon, they were coming up the whole evening, and that was his time to shine for his beloved bookworm. He wanted to stay at the edge of the dance floor, so Ezra would still see him. At some point, he faced Ezra, tugging him on an invisible rope. Ezra, of course always looking at him, shook his head with a bored smile. Anthony gave him puppy eyes. Ezra mouthed  _ “I know what you’re doing…” _ Anthony tugged on the rope once again, and Ezra gave him one more head shake with an air kiss.

Anthony might have given up and returned back to Ezra with a sigh if it weren’t for the next chain of events.

The girl, apparently too drunk to even stand upright anymore, collapsed next to him. Her boyfriend dove after her, ramming into Crowley in the process, and sending him flying to the side. His head slammed into the edge of the table, and he crashed to the ground with a nasty cuss word on his lips. The world blackened for a second, as he felt warm hands catching his forearms and tugging him up.

“Hey, you okay?” the foreign voice asked him, and he opened his eyes to meet… The very beautiful face. The large lively indigo eyes stared back at him, the soft amused grin a gem on those lips, the messy raven hair framing the perfect cheekbones and jaw…

_ Why am I having a gay panic? _

“Should I be worried?” the stranger insisted, more amused by Crowley’s reaction, or the lack of it. Crowley blinked, quickly shoving all the attempts of poetry away from his mind.

“No, no, I’m fine…” he mumbled, ignoring the soft pounding in the back of his head. 

“Yes, I can see that. Let me get you a glass of water,” the stranger pulled him to his feet and led him a few tables away, where he shoved him to the sofa and pushed a glass into his hand. Crowley’s eyebrows raised, as he swirled the clear liquid inside of it. 

“Oh come on, I just prevented you from getting mauled down there,” the stranger rolled those perfect eyes. He had extremely lush eyelashes.

“Maybe you did it just because you wanted to kidnap me and have your way with me,” Crowley looked sharply at him and without breaking eye contact, he sipped from the glass. 

It didn’t take long for the stranger to break into a laughing fit. 

“I like you,” he told him, as Crowley put down the empty glass, the pain in his head slightly better. “I admit I have watched you before. Your moves are sick. Though it’s visible you never practiced seriously, that’s something that can change very easily.”

Crowley lifted his eyebrows again. “That quick to have me read through?”

Stranger chuckled. “Didn’t mean it like that… How about we go get some fresh air and nicotine and you give me some tea about you, so I don’t have to read through?”

That, somehow, set off a red light in Crowley’s brain. “Oh, actually, I should get back to my boyfriend, he probably saw me fall and is probably worried,” he stammered and got up from the chair. The stranger blinked, the red shadow went through his face (nothing unusual in a club with dancing lights), and he smiled again.

“Okay then. But my offer still stands. Come to us later and we can teach you a lot of good stuff. A friend is a barman, so we’re here almost all the time,” he made a pause, where he leaned in, to tug the strand of hair, loosened from the braid during the fall, behind Crowley’s ear.

“Name’s Lucifer, by the way.”

“...Crowley.”

\---

“Oh by the Holy Trinity are you alright?!” Ezra threw himself at him the second he has him in his field of vision, hugging him, patting his cheeks, forcing him to lean down so he could check the back of his head, and dragging him to sit, all while chattering desperately.

“I’ve seen your fall, and I tried to find you, but you weren’t where you landed, I got worried someone kidnapped your lifeless body to have their way with you!”

The last one made Crowley smile, because yes, his boyfriend was really rubbing off him.

“Ssssh, don’t worry anymore,” he shushed him, gently taking his hands and kissing each knuckle. “I’m fine, I was just getting some water.”

Ezra seemed calmer, but still pretty close to the edge. “Alright…”

“Okay, let’s go home. Your aunt must be worried by now. I would kill a guy for her cocoa right now,” Anthony gently proposed, and Ezra silently nodded, gripping Anthony’s hand just as tightly as when they came. Their drinks were already paid for, so they only collected their jackets (and Anthony took Ezra’s phone from the table - he had a talent of forgetting it everywhere).

As they came out of the club to the street, hand in hand, Crowley was surprised to find Lucifer smoking in a small stack of people. The indigo eyes immediately met his, and he pushed his way out of the circle to come to him. “Leaving already? I was hoping I could see you dance some more.”

“We have to. But I liked the place, so it’s possible we would come by again.”

Lucifer took a drag from the cigarette, eyeing both Crowley and Ezra, who was too busy searching something in his pockets to pay attention to the conversation, although he did notice the third person.

“Come tomorrow, around four. We have a little dance practice before the club opens,” Lucifer told him and motioned his head towards the people in the circle. Multiple were watching them curiously.

“I’ll see,” Crowley told him, and at that moment, Ezra tugged on his sleeve. 

“Dear, I think I forgot my phone in…” Without a word, Anthony pulled Ezra’s phone out and put it into his hand. Ezra’s cheeks immediately went pink. 

“Why are you always doing this to me?”

Anthony smiled and was about to look at Lucifer again, but he was gone, back in his circle.

“He wanted something?” Ezra asked curiously. Anthony shook his head.

“Nothing important.” He had no idea why he didn’t tell Ezra right away. Later, it made much more sense.

“I’ve seen him dance on the podium earlier. I mean, I had no way of knowing if it was good or not, but people seemed to like it very much,” Ezra shrugged before he went on to the walkthrough of the drinks and his personal ratings for them. 

And Anthony was lost in thought, the unknown feeling suddenly smoldering in his chest.


	2. Filter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley meets Lucifer's squad and finds himself completely at ease with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back... This chapter is shorter but quite important since we meet the guys. :3 Also, a ton of foreshadowing included. I am quite impressed with myself.

Going to the club during the broad daylight? That was a completely new level of class.

The truth was, Crowley wasn’t even planning on coming. After his few classes around lunch, he waited for Ezra to finish his own classes and then he accompanied him on the way home. Usually, they would stay in afterward, watch some movies, play games or just study together. Crowley actually felt the most content with Ezra reading and him napping in his lap.

But today, his boyfriend didn’t let him in, telling him that Gabriel told the class that he heard that tomorrow they’ll have a surprise pop quiz. Crowley was 97% sure that he made that up, like the last three times, just to make fun of the “nerds” of the class, but Ezra would be damned if he took any chances in the matter of pop quizzes. So Crowley didn’t object, kissed his boyfriend for good luck and took his leave.

He was almost on his street when it occurred to him.

He didn’t have to go home. He could be somewhere else.

So he turned on his heel and hurried to the dance club.

Just as the clock struck four, he opened the door to the club and went down the stairs.

“How punctual of you!” Lucifer’s voice welcomed him, along with his amused smile and multiple confused or suspicious stares.

“Would hate to make you sad by being late and thinking I won’t come,” Crowley shot back, folding his hands.

A girl sitting on a bar chair barked out laughter, while Lucifer’s face stayed somewhere between amused and impressed. The rest followed with the warm laughter, which made Crowley feel all tingly. It was a long time since he made a group of people laugh like this.

“Yes, I like him too. Nice one, Lucifer.” She hopped down from the chair, confirming Crowley’s suspicion that she was almost a head and a half shorter than him. But Crowley definitely wouldn’t want to make her angry, judging by her steel shoes, definitely heavier than Crowley himself. 

She stuck out her fingerless gloved hand, and Crowley shook it with confidence.

“Beelz. Nice to meet you. You see, Lucifer might have persuaded you that he is in charge here, but that’s bull crap. I am the boss.”

“Fuck you!” Lucifer came over to them and took Crowley’s elbow, dragging him away from Beelz. “Don’t listen to that hobbit, she huffed enamel this morning and doesn’t know what she’s talking.”

“She didn’t, but she knows who tried that in the fifth grade and has ongoing brain damage after-effects!” Beelz shot back from behind, but Crowley already wasn’t listening. 

The rainbow lights in the club were turned off and at the moment it had the normal warm white lighting, which made the place look completely different. Less chaotic, less ethereal. There were no customers, and the music was quieter, not trying to blast the place out of the ground like last night. 

Two guys were behind the bar, and Crowley actually recognized the one with a colorful Hawaiian shirt from last night as the barman. 

“Hey,” the barman nodded. “Name’s Ligur. My uncle owns this place. That means I naturally hate it here, but these leeches like free drinks so they force me to work here. Want something?” 

Crowley smiled. “Isn’t it too soon for a drink?”

“Not if you’re an alcoholic, no,” the other guy demonstrated his words from behind Ligur by pouring a shot and drinking it on the spot. 

“This gremlin garbage is Hastur. He is always pissed because he can’t get drunk anymore, but that doesn’t stop him from trying,” Ligur didn’t show any concern for his friend, who just glared at him for the insult.

“Also, he can dance. All of us can. It’s something that brought us together, and we practice it still. That’s why I thought you will be a nice addition.” Lucifer smiled at Crowley. It was easier to return the smile every time it happened.

Lucifer led him to the middle of the dance floor, where a girl was currently dancing. Crowley was completely sure that her glittery makeup is making people blind on a daily basis under those rainbow lights. She danced very nicely though, her movements very clear. Not for long.

“Dagon!” Lucifer called, and that suddenly made her trip and fell out of the flow.

“You ass!” she cussed, glaring the bloody murder at Lucifer. He threw an innocent smile over at Crowley. She followed his eyes and also looked at Crowley. Suddenly, he felt as if tied down in front of a brain scanner.

“Yeah, you’re the infamous boyfriend of the classmate of Ligur’s ex! Where did you dig up this guy, Lucifer?” she proclaimed and walked over. Crowley noticed glitter on her clothes and pearled shine of her skin, probably an after-effect of some quirky body lotion.

“Dagon here knows every single soul in this city. Don’t be too shocked. I would be concerned if she didn’t know who you are,” Lucifer explained with a smile. He turned back to her.

“Found him at the party yesterday. On the ground. One of the big guys knocked him down.”

“I didn’t pick a fight with anyone! His girlfriend was...” Crowley defended himself immediately out of habit, raising his hands. Dagon rolled her eyes.

“Sounds like Dominique from the wrestler group then. His girlfriend Hannah can’t endure anything. They met at the city festival two years ago, when she got extremely wasted out of shot of tequila and her friend Simone, who my cousin dated for a while, was sick of holding her hair while she puked into a trashcan, and asked the first guy she saw to do it, and that was Dominique. Adorable, isn’t it?”

Crowley blinked, having spaced out in about half of that story.

“You mentioned me?” a call from the bar echoed.

“About a year ago, Ligur, but yeah!” Dagon waved her hand. “And how about you? I want to know how you got together with the adorable Ezra Fell!”

If that wasn’t interesting. Crowley liked this girl already, but calling his adorable boyfriend adorable was just straight up going up his ass. He chuckled. “That’s a long story.”

“We got time,” Dagon smiled.

“No, we don’t,” Lucifer jumped into it, suddenly stiff. Dagon arched her perfect glittery eyebrows. “I need to show you all why I brought this guy in.”

It was Crowley’s turn to arch an eyebrow.

“I’ll join you if you’re nervous,” Lucifer offered, handing him a phone with the list of songs.  _ Right. Dancing.  _ Crowley chose the song he had quite a good grasp on and handed it back to Lucifer. “Are you worried about me?”

Lucifer winked at him instead of an answer, and the tightness in Crowley’s chest, that he didn’t even notice until it wasn’t there, disappeared, and he relaxed.

He began. He moved with the music, just like he always did. It came to him completely naturally.

_ He knew these guys were just… guys, not even the professional dancers, just the friends having fun. It wasn’t like any competition was going on. His life didn’t depend on it. They wouldn’t throw him out if he messed up a little bit, they all seemed nice so far, they could maybe be his new friends? He didn’t have an opportunity to make new friends in quite some time. And if they all favored dance… they would surely understand it well. Again, his life and wellbeing didn’t depend on it… It wasn’t by any means a conservatoire audition…  _

_ Why was he even here? _

The light touch on his shoulder violently tore him out of the thoughts, although he didn’t lose the flow of his body in the music. Lucifer’s smile was close now, as Crowley realized this was the part of the song that enabled the second dancer to come in. 

“You think too much, starlight,” he whispered to him and continued the dance, now the two of them together. Crowley’s eyes focused again, and he couldn’t tear them from Lucifer’s face until the song ended - having him there truly helped to calm his brain. Lucifer danced gorgeously, fluidly as a mermaid and despite it being only a mere practice, sincere emotions oozed from his dance. Crowley felt them, emotions, not thoughts, somehow even more crushing and burning, the raw feelings with no names. Crowley’s head, always filled with so many words and possibilities and scenarios, was suddenly flooded with the powerful wave that carried everything away and left his mind blank and speechless. But that was fine because it only made him want more. He followed Lucifer’s lead in the dance, and he had no doubt that they did amazingly.

As they ended the dance, breathless, their shoulders touching, Crowley heard a loud whistle and clapping. 

“Nice!” Beelz shouted while Hastur lifted his glass to salute them. 

“But don’t tell me you met only yesterday. You must have trained together before!”

Lucifer ruffled the sweaty loose hair around his face and remade his bun. “No, we haven’t. That's what I wanted to show you. This guy has great potential, as I was telling you.”

\---

They danced some more, tried different genres of music and dances, had non-alcoholic drinks for the lost energy, helped Ligur clean up the club before the opening, had a lot of good laughs in general, and then went outside for a smoke.

“Want some?” Lucifer offered him a cigarette, and Crowley hesitated. “I haven’t smoked in a long time, it’s been complicated…”

Lucifer looked him in the eye and embedded the cigarette between Crowley’s fingers. “With us, nothing will ever be complicated. Remember that, starlight.”

Crowley chuckled. “Why are you calling me that?”

Lucifer didn’t reply for a while, as he lit Crowley’s cigarette. “I don’t know,” he admitted innocently. “I guess you just remind me of it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. I would be glad for every kudos and comment :3  
> Posting schedule - once a week, Thursday/Friday, and as the story proceeds it will be more frequent :3


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